Mental Health Blog, Day 6: Love & Gratefulness (Present)

On self-love & compassion:

"If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete."

Boost yourself. Back yourself. Be your own best friend. There is only one person that is with you from beginning to end, it matters what they think about you, what they say about you, and the kind of feelings they produce. That person is you, and by being your own friend and loving yourself, you will become stronger, and better able to love others too. So long as we are trying to be a good person, kind and virtuous, we are deserving of love and respect for that.

Accept who you are, and Embrace yourself. Value and Love yourself. You deserve love. Be yourself – the best cliché, be true to who you are, as we each have something unique to offer the world. Sometimes it takes years to find out who we are and that’s okay. Self-respect and self-love are mutual and connected. Self-respect is not letting someone treat you badly, and also not letting yourself treat you badly. You can create your boundaries that require respect from yourself and others, on how you are treated.

Sometimes we can end up treating ourselves badly, especially after a traumatic event, like a break-up or grief. Staying in bed all day, neglecting yourself, especially turning to drink, drugs etc; this is not self-respect, this is self-abuse. Recognizing this and claiming back your self-control is essential, as this lifestyle is a slippery slope. In bad times, it’s better to just totally abstain from alcohol in my opinion, as I’ve seen how it can destroy people and take lives.

Sometimes looking in the mirror and telling yourself internally or verbally (whichever you prefer) that you love yourself and list the things you’ve succeeded at can be very beneficial. Positive mantras can also help, such as ‘I am healing’, ‘I am worthy’, or ‘I am loving awareness’… This may sound silly to someone who hasn’t had depression, but the thing is, this disease will throw many negative thoughts at you such as ‘I am worthless’… we need to counteract these awful lies with our own weapon and medicine against depression which I think is love.

Just in the same way that you can effectively love yourself, through forgiveness and love, you can love others. I think that when you share love, it grows. The more you give, the more you have, like spreading the fire of candlelight. This includes loving yourself, but of course extends to others too; your friends, family, community, and ‘strangers’. Showing and sharing love with your friends, family, and whoever you are close with, heals us all. Showing people how much they mean to you, and how much you love them is so valuable. Many people regret not showing how much they loved someone, if you imagine that this is your last day together, the idea of arguing can make us feel sick, and it seems so obvious that what you really want is to make that person feel loved, and to share your friendship together.

This would make me feel embarrassed if I read this when I was a teenager, but the older I get, the more I realize that this is the best thing about life. If we can try to spread love and kindness it will make the world a nicer place to live. Every bit of charity you do, each gift of kindness you share, it will grow and spread, carried in every direction on the wings of the butterfly effect. The same too applies for each bit of bad, everything we do gets amplified and ‘echoes in eternity’. I think good virtues are the best thing humans have, and what’s keeping us alive. It ends wars, and creates life. It counts on an individual level too - having a kind-hearted love for ourselves is the best thing we have and will keep us living well too.

On gratefulness:

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift from God, which is why we call it the present.”

‘Today, if all of us go to bed, by tomorrow morning, nearly a quarter million people won’t wake up. Natural death in the world. “Here I am still alive”- one big smile. Will you? …And at least three to five million people lost somebody who’s dear to them. You check those three, four, five people who matter to you, all of them still alive today, one more big smile?” How lucky we all are to be here today, embrace that feeling, and respect your gift of life that has been given to you. Use it, how you dream of using it’. Each of us is always lucky in some way. “Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude, the more you will have to express gratitude for.”

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”

“Thank you is the best prayer that anyone could say. I say that one a lot. Thank you expresses extreme gratitude, humility, understanding.”

“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.”

Some religions make thanking God a regular habit and routine, and I think it’d be beneficial for atheists to also encompass this gratefulness into their lives; it gives a good feeling, it’s humbling, and respectful of life.

Norway Quest Travel Blog, Day 6:

We vacated Bergen hotel and visited Bryggens museum where we saw some interesting viking finds such as combs, jewellery, flutes, footings, a weave, and leather shoes. No one threatened me with a long spear though, so still not as good as Jorvik Viking centre! This is when a huge coincidence occurred… Whilst in the museum, I read on facebook that my colleague and friend Ross, a.k.a. 'Canute' from Jorvik where we worked together as vikings, was in Bergen right at that moment! So I messaged him and he quickly replied which meant we could go for a quick pint at a local metal bar. It was really nice to see him again and especially at such a place, but I had to dash to catch the ‘Hardangerfjord Expressen’ boat to Rosendal. We then got a free bus ride from a really nice driver who could tell we were a bit lost/British, and rested up at Trolltunga studios in Odda.