Mental Health Blog, Day 11: Go for your dreams, steadily
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“Don't be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.”
“Life is designed to knock you down. It will knock you down time and time again, but it doesn't matter how many times you fall - it matters how many times you get back up.”
It can be a great thing to have big dreams on our horizons, to work each day to get closer to our goals, and to aspire for greatness. I think that sometimes, pure determination and grit can push us to new heights and to achieve great things. Natural ability, the right genes, good looks, money…these can all help, but some cynics may argue that these are basically everything you need for success – This is a recipe for hopelessness, and a guidebook for giving up… They are advantages for sure, but it’s surprising and uplifting that people can achieve great things through pure determination, their persistence, and sheer willpower – which all require a great deal of optimism and hope.
There will be obstacles to overcome, and tough times to endure, but one secret is to ‘Look forward to the challenge.’ Rather than avoid the tasks at hand, relish in your determination to take them on courageously. Two of my favourite quotes about following your dreams, no matter what:
“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!”
“If you want a thing bad enough to go out and fight for it, to work day and night for it, to give up your time, your peace and your sleep for it… if all that you dream and scheme is about it, and life seems useless and worthless without it… if you gladly sweat for it and fret for it and plan for it and lose all your terror of the opposition for it… if you simply go after that thing you want with all of your capacity, strength and sagacity, faith, hope and confidence and stern pertinacity… if neither cold, poverty, famine, nor gout, sickness nor pain, of body and brain, can keep you away from the thing that you want… if dogged and grim you beseech and beset it, with the help of God, you will get it!”
Dogged determination, blood, sweat, and tears, works for some dreams – the ones you actually want and enjoy. If however, you are working your ass off, exhausted, constantly working and totally dissatisfied, maybe this isn’t the dream you’re working for anymore, but it’s become a nightmare. Ask yourself, ‘Does this make me happy? Do I enjoy this at all?’ It’s very common, and okay, to make career changes, and to change your dreams. 99% of a ‘dream’ can be simply working for it, having it is sometimes very brief, so it’s good to know that you actually enjoy working towards it too, and that working for it gives you pride and happiness. Going for dreams shouldn’t be torturous.
It’s a fine line between the two, but I think the secret is – If you genuinely don’t enjoy it, don’t force yourself to do it for long. We want to do what we enjoy. In every pursuit, there are times where it’s no fun, with degrees, jobs etc. but for it to be like that month after month, or year after year – maybe this simply isn’t the right dream. I made this mistake in the last few years by being too persistent with a particular dream, and not being flexible to following a new dream.
Do what you love. You get the chance to dream again. It’s the same if you follow something right down to the finish line, you can dream up a new goal now, something else you’d like. What would you love to do now?
“No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again.”
Rather than having one big, solid, dream, like being #1 athlete, world famous scientist, astronaut, it might be more effective, achievable and rewarding, to have a series of smaller, flexible dreams, many things you’d like to achieve. Once you reach one, you make another one, and so on… if one dream fails you, you can know that you tried that path, and have many more paths open, and realise you want to achieve another new goal now.
On not achieving certain dreams: ‘Be prepared to fail’, if you work your hardest and still fail, you must have been fighting for something truly great, and just putting in all your effort and being true to yourself, that’s worth pride, just knowing you attempted it.
Aesop's Fables: The tortoise and the hare: This can be seen as an analogy for ‘how not to have a nervous breakdown’, or burnout, and instead how to live a happier, healthier life. Some people can strive so hard for ‘success’ that they deplete all their stamina and resources, and burn out. They can end up bedbound, ill, stressed, angry etc. and may cause themselves damage and have to spend time recovering.
By doing a little each day with small, realistic goals, we can slowly win the race. By working steadily towards where you want to be, and remembering to rest in between, we might actually end up where we want to be faster, and enjoy the pace better. ‘The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself’. Baby steps each day, focus on what you want, small but persistent steps. It’s amazing what belief can help you achieve. Keep going, and always believe in yourself.
Norway Quest Travel Blog, Day 11:
We got up around 9, took some more photos at Trolltunga, and set off back down the mountain. My legs were so sore on the way down with the rough rocky terrain, but the hiking sticks helped, as I used them like crutches. Once down the guides were free to give me a lift back to the hotel to reunite with Amy. We had some nice veggie food and got the boat back to Bergen, and flew back home the day after. Thank you Norway!
It was so important and cathartic to me and my family, the quest to show him just how much he meant to us. We will always be able to look back at these pictures and know we honoured him. It was massively stressful, exhausting, and a huge endeavor but it was all worth it! I’m not sure I’d recommend anyone to do something similar, as I was still grieving up there, and when I got back, it was a very dark time actually. It didn’t go perfectly, things went wrong, but it was real and it was achieved, it was for James, and it’s progress for us all in moving forward.
None of this would have been possible had it not been for the love of everyone that has been shared and given. Thank you so much to everyone who donated to this cause, you have made this possible and I am deeply, and eternally grateful for your kindness to James and our family x Thanks mum and dad for supporting me through the most awful time, thank you for never giving up on me and always being there for me. I want to thank Amy for all of your love and support, for helping me do this, and being there for me the whole time. Thank you Dom, Laurence, Serena, Arjun, Lee, Sophie, the Reynold’s bros, and everyone who has given support and kindness through the worst time of our lives which I am hoping is coming to a close now, and I think we are seeing brighter days again. Thank you to the Vikings of Grimfrost and to Tarran of Descended from Odin who very generously donated to this cause, and to the Jorvik Vikings who also helped me with your friendship and good times.
As long as we keep love and hope in our hearts, we can fight through the dark days, and see the brighter days that will come. I wouldn’t have been able to complete this journey without all of your help, thank you.Thank you so much for reading, and I hope that any readers have enjoyed my blog and that it’s maybe helped you in some way.
Peace and love, Alex